My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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