My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
