Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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