so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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