hell yes lets make some ravioli
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
