Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
