so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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