no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Randomize
