if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
