Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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