C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
