its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
