Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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