we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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