he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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