So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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