she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
