You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Someone shattered a urinal.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
