So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
