By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
