i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
