I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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