Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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