No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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