I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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