Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
