waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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