He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
