New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
