im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
