The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
