is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
No subtext here. People are naked.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
