doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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