Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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