That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
