Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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