happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
