I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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