Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
