Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
