help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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