I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
high people should be assigned attendants
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
