put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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