so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
