My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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