I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
