I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
