how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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