Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
