there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
